December 13, 2011

Andrew’s Holiday Gift Guide

Our Zomsters Giveaway Ends Tonight at 8pst!

The other day I was oohing and aahing over all the online holiday gift guides when my husband Andrew happened to walk by. This was his response to a certain ‘Gift Guide for Him’ I was perusing: “No guy would want any of that stuff.”

So I asked him, “well sir, what would YOU put in a Holiday Gift Guide?” And this is the result:

Andrew here. First things first. No candles or pillows. Unless you live in a house without furniture or electricity. Then those might come in handy. Otherwise, just turn on the lights. And chances are, you already have a pillow. Do you really need a new one? (Melissa: YES.) With some kind of embroidery and sequins and whatnot? Pillows are for resting your head on while you sleep, not for decoration or taking up space on the furniture. (So wrong.)

Enough about what not to get. Here are some better ideas for gifts. Melissa wants me to add “for dudes”, but really these gift ideas are just common sense for anyone. Would you really prefer a scented candle to the latest Zelda game? (Melissa: YES.) If you answered “yes”, you can stop reading now. Check back tomorrow for the next post.

According to the reviews, this is one of the greatest entries in the greatest video game series of all time. If you own a Wii, get this. (Note: Melissa wants me to put something funny here, but I can’t think of anything. Zelda is nothing to joke about.)

Bouquet of Flowers No. 108 is the manliest of teas.

Irish Breakfast Tea is far superior to English Breakfast Tea. (Note to readers: Melissa is sitting behind me trying to edit me as I type. I’m trying to ignore her, so please bear with me.)

I’m wearing this right now. Melissa keeps trying to steal it from me.
(Note from Melissa: Maybe if I got my own fleece pullover, I wouldn’t need to steal his! Sadly the men’s pullovers seem pretty picked over but man, does Andrew love this thing. He wears it all the time! Great gift idea if/when it comes back in stock. Wish they made a women’s version.)

The Wild Bunch is one of the greatest films of all time. Melissa refuses to watch it with me. She refuses to watch any Sam Peckinpah movies with me. She only made it a couple of minutes into Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia. (Actually I believe I fell asleep.)

These books are good. If you like sci-fi or fantasy you should check them out.

Note: ‘Twilight’ does not fall into either of these categories. (Melissa: Say WHAT?)

If you like it, read the other two books in the series. Then the sequel to the series. Then Vol 1 and Vol 2 of the next series. Then the next series after that. (Melissa: Can anyone make ANY sense of this?)

Cookies are a great gift. This up here is a cookie.

This is not a cookie. When you put frosting on a cookie it turns it into cake, and cake is gross.

(Melissa: wrong, wrong….wrongitty wrong. I can tell that this will yet another year where we battle over how many Christmas sugar cookies get icing, and how many do not. Sigh.)

So there you have it. Merry Christmas.


(Image credits: sugar cookie picture from Jleighb’s Flikr Photostream, choc chip cookie picture from bottomlesstummy’s Flikr photostream.)


  1. Love this love this, I think the local bookstore may get one more visit from me before Santa drops in. Thanks Andrew (and Melissa of course)

  2. Well, although I would prefer a scented candle to zelda, I DID continue reading....and am so glad I did! My favorite line: "Zelda is nothing to joke about." That made me laugh out loud. :)

    I agree, I read men's gift guides and never see anything my husband would want. But I do always see a few things I would a pillow with a deer on it or something...

  3. You have just determined what I am getting everyone on my list, and what everyone should get me. Christmas shopping done.

  4. What really brought this to a head Miss Vanessa was some guide that had a pillow listed as an item to give to your man -- Andrew's eyes almost popped out of his head with disbelief. However, I for one need to enter some kind of support program for pillow lovers -- I've decided that I need a refrigerator-sized box in the garage in which I can store pillows and rotate them out when I get bored -- also, I should only buy from Ikea b/c of the said boredom factor. I LOVE PILLOWS! ~Melissa

  5. This is exactly why I love you guys!!! I have to agree with Andrew - frosting on cookies makes it cake!!!

  6. Frosting on cookies is definitely gross and turns them into cake (which is also gross, unless we are talking about coffee cake, or maybe carrot cake).

  7. I suspect that it doesn't matter where you are, over with you or here in North Wales, men don't like pillows! I am not a pillow freak but even the limited and tasteful (to me!) pillows on our bed are cast aside every night by OH. Mine also has a fleece which is never off his back which looks suspiciously like Andrew's!

  8. nice. just all of it. Rob would agree with you about the pillows. He would be wrong, but whatevs. Fleece, yes. Tea, NO. Sci Fi, no. Video games, particularly hockey and those WWII shooting games, yes.

    I would like to install you 2 in my house and just watch the conversations.


  9. Love when Andrew posts!

  10. Yeah yeah, everyone loves Mr. Andrew. He's going to think he's the bees knees now! Stay tuned for the Epic House Sweater Debate. I've been promising it forever and after the holidays, we're going to finally deliver! :) ~Melissa

  11. This was an awesome post. Is it terrible that I had no idea Zelda exists outside of a shiny golden cartridge from the late '80s? Here's a question for Andrew: Which is better: classic Zelda or modern Zelda?

  12. This is gift giving for male nerds, not guys. Real guys like sports memorabilia, tools, and a year's supply of lad mags. That said, I prefer Earl Grey over all teas.

  13. HA HA HA Aadip!! Andrew said the EXACT thing when we started writing this!! Too funny. Andrew also loves Earl Grey, me, not so much. xoxo

    Michelle that is an EXCELLENT question, I'll have Mr Andrew reply back on that one :)


  14. Sam: I had the almost identical thought the other day! I think we will need to perform this experiment when we CRASH YO HOUSE next yr! Oh yeah, it's happening. :) xo, Melissa