6 hours ago
Don’t Mess With Strawberry Shortcake
January 24, 2012
Charming and sweet.
Fun ice cream for cute Strawberry Shortcake and her friends!
Look at Raspberry Tart's little pink curls! Look at her sweet pink gingham dress!
What happened to Blueberry Muffin? Are her pants sprayed on? Are they pants? Apparently Blueberry Muffin is going to the prom. With no pants.
Strawberry Shortcake got beautifuller. Or something. What was wrong with her before? Why does she need to become all red carpet-esque? I’m afraid of this Strawberry Shortcake, she looks evil.
WHAT IS THIS? WHY DO THEY EXIST? WHAT IS A BRATZ? HOW MUCH DO THEY CHARGE PER HOUR? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR A CHILD’S TOY? I’M CONVINCED SOME TOY COMPANY IS LAUGHING LAUGHING RIGHT NOW. . . LIKE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE TO MAKE THESE BUT THEN SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOUGHT SOME. . .
Did we all enjoy that little progression through cute and scary doll land? I know I am now pretty horrified. I realized after my Winter at Our House post, (wherein I showed some pix of the vintage Strawberry Shortcake dolls I gave to Julia this past Christmas) we needed to have a much longer discussion about WHAT THE HECKFIRE HAS HAPPENED TO STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE OVER THE YEARS AND WHY HAVE DOLLS IN GENERAL BECOME. . . something I would never, could never, give to my child. Like, I feel like I have to walk incredibly fast when we go through a toy aisle that has these creatures.
I had to get Julia the original Strawberry Shortcake dolls because I had them when I was little and they were my favorite dollies. The ones available now are not nearly as cute and they are all plasticky and they look somewhat hoochie-esque. WHY? WHY must STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE BE HOOCHIFIED? WHY TOYMAKERS WHY? And what's up with the general hoochiefication of childhood anyway? No daughter of mine is going to wear/watch/play with something that looks like it came off a 28 year old woman with a strong aversion to clothing. Sorry. I really don't understand where all this hoochie is coming from because no one I know would be into it for their children. So why do "they" keep pushing it onto consumers? I'm baffled by it all. Could someone please explain 'Bratz' dolls to me?
(Andrew very helpfully suggested that I use the word “slattern” instead of “hoochie”. Maybe “trollop”?)
I won't go there toymakers. I won't buy your hoochie version of Strawberry Shortcake for my daughter. You plan, whatever it was, has backfired. So to Ebay I go to find the darling Strawberry Shortcake of my childhood.
Despite my love for all things old fashioned, I consider myself to be fairly forward thinking, but these dolls are not forward. They are not hip. Nor are they rad. I can’t even classify these as toys. I find it an interesting phenomenon that I often have to go to Ebay to seek out vintage toys to find something that is appropriate for my 5 year old to play with. I find it both interesting and disheartening that I have maybe five costume choices to pick from at Halloween (unless I make it myself, which sadly is not really within my craft capability) if I want to avoid my little girl looking like she’s 5-going-on-30.
I won’t pretend to have any answers. I just want to know WHAT IS GOING ON (I think Oprah did a show about this topic once, the aging-forward of childhood.) and WHY IS IT HAPPENING? I know little girls have always wanted to try on their mommy’s makeup and pretend to be grown up ladies, but things seem to have gotten out of hand. A five year old should not be marketed to like they are a teen. Or even a ‘tween’.
Good grief. I’m going to go play with the 30 year old Strawberry Shortcake doll I gave to Julia now.
(Image credits of modern dolls: Hasbro.com, Bratz.com)