December 17, 2012
I couldn't think of a title for today. If this isn't the $#@!&* bottom of the barrel of an occurrence for our country, I don't know what is.
This is my 4th attempt at a post.
The others were full of anger, because I feel very full of anger. I've written things in anger in the past that did not end well for me, so I'm trying to learn from that mistake.
After reading what I wrote a few times...I just was like, oh screw it. There's no point to this. People don't really need to be reading about my anger right now. I kept deleting paragraph after paragraph.
It is unimaginable what happened to these children, these small kids who were only a few years away from their toddler years...and yet it happened. It would have been equally horrifying to have had this happen to any other group of kids, but that it happened to the the littlest ones among us....I don't think anyone's stomach will unclench about this, ever.
For those who suffered ~ I am so sorry. I think a new word for 'sorry' needs to be invented for what we feel for those families, because sorry just doesn't seem to cut it. Seems so lackluster. I think we're all feeling more than sorrow.
The image of a teacher reading to her class to calm them keeps running through my head like a ticker tape.
For all of us, Is this how it is now? Fear over the basic act of sending one's child to school? Fear of going out and seeing a film, or buying some shoes? One could say, 'I choose to live without fear', but you know what, that's not me. I was already living in fear because I have massive anxiety. I know statistics lend themselves more towards safety than towards catastrophic events like these, but I worry. I fear.
Don't we need to do something? What can we do?
I so wish I knew what that was.
I thought that after this, I was going to shut down the blog. Was I really going to keep prattling on about my cats or what show I watched on TV? But I do love sharing the books I find for children with you, so I guess I'll keep going.
I listened to my daughter sing 'Jingle Bells' the other day and I don't know if it made me happier or more sad. Because every parent should be able to hear their child sing 'Jingle Bells' at this time of year. Or sing anything at all. I look into my daughter's eyes, and I just wonder what I can do to make her world a better and safer place.
Going to stop talking now. All I've said here is a whole lot of Not Very Much. But I couldn't just stay silent and show a book today. This guy was able to get his point across without all the yelling I want to do.