January 22, 2013

Flu! Germs! Everyone Hide!

P1030960Because I like to get beneath rocks and live under them, and because I avoid the news as much as I possibly can, I didn’t realize until just last week that the flu was any kind of big deal this year. I had no idea. And then I kept seeing all these people saying they were sick on Facebook. And then my brother got the flu. And then I went online and had a good time at the CDC website.

P1030972P1030977Do you know this about me? That I’m totally obsessed with contagious disease, in addition to being paranoid about extreme weather? And that I’m a hypochondriac who likes to stick my fingers in my eyes, mouth, ears, and yes, the nose. Also, I’m more of a catcher than a resister. So if the super flu comes around someday (AND IT WILL), I’ll probably be out in the first wave.

P1030963I got my flu shot this year, as I’ve done every year since I got the flu really badly, and had a 102 fever and ended up buying a cat while I was delirious, who had the screechiest, awfullest, most nails-on-a-chalkboard Siamese voice you ever heard in your life.

Friends, don’t buy cats while you have the flu.

P1030965If you’d like to debate about whether it is good or bad to get flu shots, feel free to do so in the comments. I won’t debate you. But maybe someone else in the comments will debate you and that will be jolly fun for me to read. Just joking! (totally not joking)

P1030964People should do what makes them feel comfortable as far as flu shots go. Except people should NOT come around when they’re sick, like my brother tried to do. TRIED. My ma and I shut him down. We were like no no, you keep your flu self at home. And he was sad because he wanted to watch a football game with my step dad, but me and Andrew and Julia were supposed to come over for dinner. And I was like, I WILL NOT SET ONE FOOT IN THE HOUSE if anyone with flu is over here and then the grandchild won’t be coming over.

P1030976The grandchild card always wins.

P1030969P1030975The scariest film I’ve ever seen is ‘The Stand’. (not true. That would be 'The Mothman Prophecies'.) But the super flu prospect terrifies me. I thought that movie ‘Contagion’ would be too much for me, but even though I saw it ON A PLANE (#recycledgerms), I didn’t think it was that scary. No movie with Gwyneth Paltrow can be THAT scary. It’s Gwynnie! Even though she bites it (#Melissaspoilsmovies) (#themoviecameoutlastyear) (#getoverit), I feel that any movie with Gwyneth will ultimately be one wherein everyone comes out on top because Gwynnie would have it no other way. The humans ain’t gonna lose in a Gwynnie film.

P1030979Have you noticed I’ve been showing pix from the funniest book about germs?? It’s winningly called ‘Germs!’ by Martin Howard and Colin Stimpson. Love the exclamation point in the title. This book is SO FUNNY. I was given some books to review and then a choice of a third book to pick. I chose this one. And I wasn’t disappointed. It’s HILARIOUS, plus there are lots and lots of toilet pix, which is the mark of good humor as everyone knows. Queen Bacteria and her army try to savage King Antibodee, seizing the opportunity to wage war when a little boy forgets to wash his hands.

It’s good germs vs. bad germs! Who wins? Who winds up in the toilet? THIS BOOK IS SO FUNNY! We looooved it. Julia and I were seriously laughing out loud. Which means I can write the following, which Andrew is very surprised that I haven't written this phrase already:

OMG this book was so awesome! LOL!

But really, it was.

Stay healthy my lovelies!

21 comments:

  1. This post woke me up better than my coffee. And I NEED my coffee. This was a scream! You're hilarious. The flu has hit near us, but our family has managed to avoid it. We didn't get flu shots this year - just missed it - and while we still could, I'm well aware of the fact that we've probably already been exposed. Maybe we've had that strain already, I don't know... I catch everything else, but I never get the actual flu.

    This book looks HILARIOUS, by the way!

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    1. By "near us," I mean my sis's family, my husband's best friend, and my mom and company in Oklahoma, but they're not really near us. And Kansas is one of the worst-hit states in the country.

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    2. One year when I was still working at a law firm in downtown Seattle, a terrible flu was going around, maybe this was 2003 or 2004? People were going to the hospital with 104 fevers. Hacking away to the right and left of me. I can't recall if I got a flu shot that yr, but for a week, I was taking EmercenC 3x a day and roasting whole cloves of garlic and eating them throughout the day. And I did not get sick! It was a miracle! I prolly smelled like a one-woman Mediterranean eatery...

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    3. Okay, I love roasted garlic, and during cold seasons, have a tendency to want to roast heads of garlic and smear it on bread. It does nothing for my breath or waistline, but any excuse...

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  2. I used to insist that I didn't need the flu shot. Then I had kids and realized that I couldn't afford to come down with the flu. Ever. Because mamas aren't allowed to get sick. It's a rule, you know. So now I get the flu shot, cross my fingers and hope for the best!

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    1. I never had a flu shot growing up in Hawaii. I never had one ever in my life until 1999 or 2000, I'm thinking? Mamas being sick is the worst thing ever. Julia freaks out. She hates it when I'm sick!

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  3. Too funny! Yes it is a craaaazy year for the flu. Last month a school in the town next to us had all of the kids sick one day except for 5. LOL!

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    1. My brother's girlfriend had that happen at her work -- everyone got sick at the same time -- then the place where she works gave out free flu shots :)

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    1. Isn't it fun? I was delighted by this book!

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  5. Oh Melissa, I've been hooting with laughter here sat at our big, oak table. I was reading your post to my eldest daughter and I cannot help but think you are a pretty talented lady - a humerous bookworm is quite a job title, don't you think?

    I too am completely obssessed with contagious illnesses: I DO think the press and media have a lot to answer to though. When I was expeciting Angélique three years ago I ended up having the Swine Flu jab due to enormous pressure from doctors, midwives, etc. A lot of my friends just did not understand why I had it done: I was bowing to public pressure. I smiled sweetly but felt like screaming out to them: 'you're not the one who is pregnant'! Honestly, what would you have done?

    I think I believe immunisation is just as much about public spirit (reducing the risk of contagion) than protecting oneself.

    I hope you saw my 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' message in response to your comment on my blog, lovely friend.

    Stephanie

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    1. You are so so right about the media, Stephanie! And I buy into EVERY TIME. Because I cave under pressure :)

      I did get a flu shot while pregnant. The doc said it would be worse to get the flu and have a high fever while being pregnant than it would be to get shot and my natural paranoia was magnified 1000% during that time. I was a mess!

      THANK YOU for the birthday greeting! And I'm so happy if my silliness amused you and your daughter in any way :)

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  6. I need this little book! I constantly have to remind the boys in my house to wash their hands! I am so afraid of getting sick... not just for me but because of the baby!

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    1. It presents the idea of hand washing in a really fun way, Cherie!

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  7. So many things to laugh at in this post! Not laughing at you having the flu, but definitely laughing at you buying a cat while having the flu! I too, am severely afraid of germs and the flu and recoil in fright from anyone who so much as sniffles near me. However, if having the flu were to give me the perfect excuse for buying another cat, well, then, I might just cozy up to a coughing, sneezing infected person just for that! Surely ben could not blame me for my purchase--I mean, I HAD THE FLU! :)

    Also, had no clue about the flu epidemic until a few weeks ago. Now I live in even greater fear...

    Stay healthy and that book looks so great--I think my kids would love it. :)

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    1. I failed to grasp, when I bought that cat (this was a good decade ago), that her little lungs would grow as she grew. That voice was something else. Really sweet kitty though! :) Sadly, she is no longer with us, she had kidney failure :(

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  8. Didn't even know we were having a flu epidemic because I am totally horrible and never pay any attention to news unless there's an election coming up. Most of the time news just gives me something to worry about that I can't control and I don't need all that jazz. Paul and I never get flu shots. Oh, well. Everybody at Paul's office has been sick, though. Can't figure out why they don't stay home. Engineers have insurance (and sick leave).

    I figure that my ancestors probably survived plague in the 14th and 17th centuries and then the Spanish Flu in 1919 or whenever so I'll be all right. Right? Just in case, I'll pin a note to myself that reads, "DO NOT ALLOW THIS WOMAN TO BUY A CAT."

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    1. I think the real gist of this post is to refrain from cat buying when sick :)

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  9. here is a smart person's take on the flu and flu shot. the flu sucks, always has, always will. BUT...ever since the rise of flu shots our flus have gotten much worse. this is because we are creating super flus. SUPER FUCKING FLUS. and every time you get a flu shot you are making next year's flu worse.
    it should go like this:
    no one gets a flu shot. everyone just gets the regular old shitty flu.
    EVERYONE gets a flu shot. teenagers die and people get sick again and again due to relapse.
    if you want to read some smart common sense shit on the flu and the flu shot read all of this:

    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/01/22/flu-epidemic.aspx?e_cid=20130122_DNL_art_1&utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20130122

    for the record i do not get the flu shot. and i am one of the people that doctors say should. (diabetic, week immune system etc..) i get sick, sure...but it usually doesn't last that long or is that severe bc i take good care of myself. i get sick and i completely cut out all forms of sugar and dairy. it is the trick that works the most in regards to longevity of a cold or flu.

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    1. You are My Favorite and My Best! Get it????

      Thanks for the reminder re Mercola, I used to read his site all the time!

      Basically I am afraid of getting the flu shot. And I am afraid of not getting it. I spent my whole life not getting it and now I've been getting it, but am I supposed to get it forever? Is everyone supposed to get it forever, every yr of their life? That seems...something not right there. Like, humans now have to get flu shots every yr for the rest of their life to exist safely? Not sure I buy that. I'm all for certain vaccines and being preventative, but when someone tells me I MUST get a shot for the rest of my life, kind of like ALL adults MUST be on statins...I think something (like $$) is at play there....

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  10. Oh hi....yikes! I'm the captain of the germaphobe team! Uncontested...no one has EVER tried to dethrone me from this position and I wear my captain badge (which has a hand sanatizer pump built in) with honor! We could have relatives planning on visiting from far away and even if they have made plans and are like traveling for hours and it will be a great effort I always say...NO ONE IS SICK RIGHT??-- and by saying that I do mean if you are sick stay very very very very far away from here!!
    Contagion! Yes I could have killed the hubby when he rented that. FREAKED ME OUT. (And Motham is creepy, you are so right there.)
    So I chose not even to read the other comments because I saw the one above mine mentioning about the vaccination actually being bad and making flu worse and I couldn't even keep reading because what if that is true....oh dear oh dear oh dear!
    Also, the picture of the boy on the toilet...so great!

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