March 28, 2013

Easter Biz

I exhausted myself doing my dissertation on Russian lacquer box fairy tales yesterday (and by dissertation I mean, I shouted an extra amount), so today I'm going to kick back and show you our Easter eggs that we made.

You can look all over the internets and Pinterest and see all kinds of mindblowing eggs. You won't see those kind of eggs here. 'Cuz I like to kick it old school with my Paas kits.

I don't gots the TIME to make a vat of peeled and chopped onion skins and blueberries and fennel with some saffron and whatnot, INTO WHICH, I drop my eggs into their little bath and then they sit for over 24 hours to achieve a hue that looks like a fairy came and blew her breath upon it.

Nope.


I don't gots the time for that, nopey nope nope. Nor does my child have the patience for that. When she's 10, we'll make us a vat of onion skins and saffron and we'll spend 90 hours on our eggs with sharpies and decorate with washi tape and it will be AWESOME. But that time is not now.

We got ourselves some NEON and TIE DYE Paas kits. Because in this house, less is not more.

More is always more. Gilding the lily? I BRONZE the lily. And then I dip it in chocolate. And then I eat it. (I've lost my mind by the way.) The sun came out and my brain just 'sploded. Cannot. Process. Glowing Orb in Sky.

In the tie dye kit, you Very Helpfully get ONE little plastic squeezy to squirt the tie dye stuff onto your egg. ONE. It's very very small and prolly cost -2 cents to make and put into the box. COULDN'T SPRING FOR TWO PLASTIC SQUEEZIES, eh Paas? Man, I'm on a rant soap box this week. First the lanterns, now the squeezy.

I will be silent now. Please enjoy our tie dye and our neon.

 (I'm not dirty. I have dye stained hands.)

Towards the end we gave up on spoons, tools, and plastic squeezies. I retract my rant about the squeezies. Each additional squeezy will just wind up in the ocean AND THAT'S BAD.

 (see the blob of tie dye ooze? awesome!)

We just began using our hands. Julia literally dipped her whole hand in egg dye before I realized what she was doing. I was like, 'uh PLEASE REFRAIN from the HAND DIPPING please.' We used our fingers to make little neon dots on our eggs. We did some tie dye first, and then dipped them into neon. But only for a few seconds, so it didn't really look very neon. It just looked pastel.

Guess what time of the month it is for me?

Happy Easter time!

20 comments:

  1. Heh. I predict egg dying at my house will go even more chaotically with a 3 year old boy at the helm! I'm putting down plastic sheeting and just letting him go to town! No Martha Stewart designs or natural dyes here either.

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    1. when my daughter was a toddler, she seriously THREW her eggs into the dye cap, achieving maximum spatter. Also, we dumped cups of dye over on the floor. I was hyperventilating. I shoulda just given her some crayons....:)

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  2. What fun! And I love that you used tea cups for colors!

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    1. that's all we had baby! we used every cup in the house! we had way too much dye 'cuz we used 2 dye kits, hehe

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  3. We got a glitter egg dying kit. And a couple sharpies. And I have spring-y washi tape, just in case. But I still got a dye kit, because I know how those work. I'm not rich enough to buy saffron to cook with, let alone dye eggs with! What the hey?

    Love the tie-dye! Your tea cups are so picturesque. And you are hilarious.

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    1. oooooh Julia was very torn about whether to get the glitter one, but she went with tie dye in the end. next yr some glitter maybe! now you've reminded me that we had some pink strawberry washi tape that would have been super cute and NOW I HAZ A SAD that we didn't use it:)

      did you know that saffron costs more per lb than gold? or something.

      i am a silly pants, but thank you lovey, i'll take your compliment and hoard it forever on my heart and tell Andrew, 'SEE! someone thinks I'm funny. And not just dumb.' He usually wins in the funny dept. xoxoxoxo

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  4. Your (honest, unpretentious, colorful) PAAS eggs are the best!

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    1. those Pass people have a monopoly on Easter, do they not? xoxo

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  5. Melissa, I think this is one of your finest posts. EVER. You had me cracking up, especially with that little rant about the saffron onion skins eggs. Thanks for brightening my morning! :) We'll be rockin' the Paas (the old school style box) this weekend.

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    1. HOT DAMN GIRL! I had a reader once tell me my Hot Dwarves post was her favorite. I love how the posts that really take me the least amount of time are the ones that go over really well. Clearly I need to make less of an effort and just free associate my posts. And keep writing during PMS.

      Have fun with your eggies this wkend!!!

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  6. I think I live under a rock where I didn't even know people did amazing and very complicated natural egg dying. The other day I realized I've never even bought one of those egg dying kits. Nope, my kids just have to deal with the fact that we use food coloring and vinegar. That's it. And there has been excessive begging that the egg dying happen NOW... to which I reply "when it gets closer to Easter" which doesn't go over well.

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    1. I tried this 'Eco Kit' once. It sucked. It took forever and the colors were LAME. I like my egg colors to march up and say hello to me. When Julia is older, we'll try to something Martha-y and do a subtle ombre effect or something. AND THEN POUR GLITTER ALL OVER IT. Actually, I've been seeing some really cool eggs on Pinterest that were just done with different colored markers, made in all sorts of designs.

      but there's just something fun about DYE, you know?

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  7. Laughing so hard at your post! (at your post and not at you :P)

    Love the egg decorating fun! And what pretty teacups you have!

    Happy Easter to you and your family!

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    1. that's ok I laugh both with and at myself all the time...:)

      those teacups are a million yrs old! actually they're like almost 2 yrs old. I've had them forever, since my early 20's i think! half of them are chipped. they're fun. they remind me of my Really Super Pink Girly Phase that I went through...basically all of my life until I met Andrew. :)

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  8. Haha, i feel ya. We're doing a low key Easter, my husband is going to be out of town during the whole weekend. And know what? We've never dyed eggs...I dont think I did it very much as a kid, so I never think to do it. We'll just color a picture and call it good, lol!

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    1. I just saw some AWESOME Easter egg pictures the other day, somewhere online! Some kids were painting these oversize egg pictures, it looked so cool! Low key sounds lovely. I'd love to low key it and just watch Easter Parade, but I can't bloody find it! I need to just buy it. Me being timely and ordering it from Netflix is just never gonna happen.

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  9. Hey, it occurred to me that one could use q-tips(one for each color) to draw and make dots and you wouldn't even need the squeezy.

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    1. DOH! Gah! Next yr ~ q-tips. And glitter. xoxoxo

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  10. FAIRY BREATH EASTER EGGS, Y'ALL! Actually, your old school eggs are very lovely!

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